Final Thoughts and the Future

Hello Everyone,
After much consideration I have decided I no longer have the time to contribute to this blog on a regular basis, at least not in a way that can be consistently useful My energies in the Hep c community are better utilized by participating in support groups and my continuing to do outreach and education within my community. I am enclosing a video blog as my parting message and I do hope you will utilize the resources I have posted in the links section.
Also please do make use of the items I have posted over the past 2 years and do feel free to add comments, questions or feedback as updates will continue to be forwarded to my email account.
I wish you all well on your journey with this disease and hopefully on the pathway to a cure.
Health and Blessings,
Jenny


© 2010-2012 Jennifer Hazard

Hep C and Addiction; Parallel Universes?

Hi everyone,
I do hope my friends are well whether, pre-treatment, in treatment, post treatment, opting our of treatment or anywhere else along the Hep continuum. And what a continuum it is!
The one thing we share in common, the disease, can be as unique and complex as anyone it plants it's prolific little cells into. I've recently been realizing that living with and attempting to recovery from Hep C [I still haven't hit the magic 6 month milestone] has a lot in common with recovery from addiction.

• It does not discriminate, anyone can fall prey to addiction or Hep C.
• A result of the first point is that people who would otherwise not have even known each other often develop a special bond than is born of struggle and isolation.
• There are Universal emotions, physical manifestations and social consequences [stigma] and yet the way we perceive and cope with these Universalities as unique as our individual capacities.
• Accepting the reality of our condition usually takes a considerable amount of time.
• The decision we must make regarding how we will deal with our problem is fraught with confusion, anxiety and fear; which is often only complicated by the well meaning but often ill informed and conflicting advice from others.
• Treatment sucks.
• We learn a lot about ourselves during treatment, but because it sucks we often don't realize it until much later.
• Other people neglect to tell us that it's going to take quite some time to feel better.
• The relapse rates are generally higher than the success rates.

We're all in this together!

So why on Earth do we go this?

Hope, and because know we are not alone.

We may stumble, we may fall...but we will not surrender.

© 2011 Jennifer Hazard

Eeeeee OOOhhhhh Teeeeeee

This title violates all the blogging rules of making your tile "searchable" and "drawing in the readers interest", unless of course you have experience with treatment and you know that it means...END OF TREATMENT!
Can you tell I'm just a little bit happy?
I was thinking back to when I first started out on this long bumpy fog covered road, with only bits and pieces of a road map, like something a pirate would bury, hiding its elusive treasure.  I found support systems online, The Hep C Nomads, Hepatitis Advocacy, The Liver Foundation, Facebook groups and more. I read posts from people who were where I am now, finally, blessedly at the end of the road and slowly coming out of the fog. I felt happy for them, and proud for them that they had made it through 48 weeks of basically being a stranger in your own body. But I found it nearly impossible to picture myself at that point, emerging from the place I was in, a place that felt out of time, out of sync with the rest of the world; a strange kind of limbo where nothing feels real. I could not see the end from "in there"
I read the words of encouragement from others who had made it through to the other side and even though it seemed so far away I was glad for the voices from the other side, the hope and strength they offered. I will always be grateful for everyone who has been with me on this journey. People in other countries who I have never met in "real life" who have given so much of themselves when they were so sick it was hard to even sit at the computer long enough to post. This is an amazing community and I intend to stick around to give back what I've been given, not out of obligation but of gratitude and great respect for everyone who travels this journey together holding hands through the fog.
I think I'm going to go shed a few tears now :)
Thank You all so much, words cannot describe what your support has meant to me.
Peace and Love to you all!
Jenny



© 2010 Jennifer Hazard

When Your Mind Has a Mind of it's Own

Looking back at my last post stirs the kettle of emotion for me right now. Part of me feels almost embarrassed at the dark self indulgence and misery. And  yet, I know that is part of the process. I know myself well enough to know that Hep C or no Hep C, if I find an emotion is becoming an annoying presence, like a pimple forming, that I need to indulge that feeling, to give it it's due attention.
There have been  so may times in life that I have held back my feelings, pushed them aside and pulled myself up by the bootstraps to carry on as the Brave Little Soldier. Some of us learn to do that at a very young age. There were things going on in my family, growing up that as the oldest I felt it was my duty to "pull it together" and carry on in order to protect my siblings. And besides, focusing on them was easier than experiencing my own fear and confusion. That response may serve it's purpose in the short term, but it comes with a high price tag in the long run. Fortunately I've learned a few things along the way and one of them is that those buried feelings have to come out and be acknowledged somehow.  Ironically, being on treatment, sitting at home most days, I am immersed in the "opportunity" to experience my emotions, whether I like it or not.
To quote my fellow Hep C blogger Eva, 


"Yet the mostly painful and disturbing thoughts or distorted fixations continued regardless of whether I wished to turn attention to more healing or cheerful possibilities" http://evaday.blogspot.com/


This is so accurate, our minds have a mind of their own, so to speak. There are thoughts and emotions we really have little, if any, control over. It frightens me to remember that some people become delusional and /or suicidal on this treatment. It's one more reason that we really need each other, and our friends and families, our medical providers, anyone close to us to try to understand that we need support, we need understanding and feedback.

I am so incredibly grateful for the people I've met along this crazy timeless path through the mist.  I'm grateful for the others who write and blog and share their stories with courage and honesty. We've got a pretty good community going here. I guess we could say "it takes a village to raise a Hep survivor" I hope that new readers will find welcome and comfort in our little "village".

Peace,

Jenny

© 2011 Jennifer Hazard
Image courtesy of the Graphics Fairy