The Wheels in my Brain go Round and Round...

Hello Everyone,
Well, here I am at about 2 and a half months after treatment. Just as while I was on treatment I'm avoiding calendar watching which invariably leads to obsession and distress. The obsession at this point in the journey becomes thay magical 6 month blood test, the generally agreed upon determination of whether this beast has been slain.
I've got to give myself credit for not devoting excessive time to wondering and worrying about it. This is becoming easier as I gradually start to feel better, less toxic, less like I've been awake for days in a row. Bits and pieces of Me are returning, in their own time and at their own pace. Today I ran up the stairs without becoming breathless; on treatment it was a struggle to even walk up the stairs. I still sleep a lot and experience brief episodes of sudden , unexplained malaise and apathy, but they seem to pass quickly.

My most dreaded fear was that my memory and thought processes would remain at the grinding halt they have been stalled in for the past year. I constantly surprise myself in conversation when I can actually remember the name of the movie I'm discussing or the author of a novel or a million other details that seemed to be lost in the fog forever. I still forget where I left my keys or the dogs leash or to do some little task I had wanted to complete, but that's fairly typical for me anyway. I've always relied on to do lists to get things done   as long as I don't lose the to do list!
I felt like an absolute genius when helping my son with a crossword puzzle the other day, the answers were just there. I remember hearing that games like crosswords are very good at keeping one's mind sharp as we grow older. I suspect the same might apply to getting one's mind back in working order after treatment. Just as we can strengthen our bodies by exercise, or running up the stairs, we can reawaken our brains by putting them to work. Does anyone else have hobbies or activities that get the wheels moving in your brain?

© 2011 Jennifer Hazard

Hep C and Addiction; Parallel Universes?

Hi everyone,
I do hope my friends are well whether, pre-treatment, in treatment, post treatment, opting our of treatment or anywhere else along the Hep continuum. And what a continuum it is!
The one thing we share in common, the disease, can be as unique and complex as anyone it plants it's prolific little cells into. I've recently been realizing that living with and attempting to recovery from Hep C [I still haven't hit the magic 6 month milestone] has a lot in common with recovery from addiction.

• It does not discriminate, anyone can fall prey to addiction or Hep C.
• A result of the first point is that people who would otherwise not have even known each other often develop a special bond than is born of struggle and isolation.
• There are Universal emotions, physical manifestations and social consequences [stigma] and yet the way we perceive and cope with these Universalities as unique as our individual capacities.
• Accepting the reality of our condition usually takes a considerable amount of time.
• The decision we must make regarding how we will deal with our problem is fraught with confusion, anxiety and fear; which is often only complicated by the well meaning but often ill informed and conflicting advice from others.
• Treatment sucks.
• We learn a lot about ourselves during treatment, but because it sucks we often don't realize it until much later.
• Other people neglect to tell us that it's going to take quite some time to feel better.
• The relapse rates are generally higher than the success rates.

We're all in this together!

So why on Earth do we go this?

Hope, and because know we are not alone.

We may stumble, we may fall...but we will not surrender.

© 2011 Jennifer Hazard